It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
