I will die if light touches me.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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