ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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