She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
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IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?