that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
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She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.