I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina