Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
