THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things