WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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