we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
