I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
