If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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