some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
