so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I am available for nakedness
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
