I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
