I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Your dad touched me again.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
