i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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