me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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