Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I could fuck to npr.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
