Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
