Im at strip club and am horny
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
