It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
