I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
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