we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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