you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
