Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
