used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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