Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
