We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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