I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
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Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
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Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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