we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Randomize
