This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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