Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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