My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
