google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
