I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
