i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
