I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
