If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
