The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
