it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
