i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I think we might need a safe word for this...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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