so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
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