My room smells like vodka and shame
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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