We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
NoShamevember. You game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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