hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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