taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
