So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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