Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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