Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
