so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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