she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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