just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
