I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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