in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
