White coat. Heels.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he laminated a picture of his dick.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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