How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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