He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I use my feet as sexual weapons
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
