we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
