just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
