if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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