I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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