I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
