I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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