ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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