That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
