never play flip cup with pint glasses
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
