You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wish i was in the wii world.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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