I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I didn't notice because vodka
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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