dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize