i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
