Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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