Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
