she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
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before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
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Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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